Guest Post by Renee Baribeau, The Practical Shaman
Healing never moves in a straight line. It zigzags. It doubles back. It pauses for long stretches. And sometimes, it takes you places you never expected to go. If you’re reading this and wondering when you’ll arrive, here’s a reminder: the path is the destination, and every step counts—even the ones you swore you’d never take again.
At Hollywood Detox, we’ve witnessed hundreds of people walk through our doors, each one carrying a unique story stitched with triumphs, relapses, reckoning, and grace. No two stories are the same—and that truth deserves honoring.
In my own life, the pre-contemplation stage didn’t happen in a treatment center or a hospital bed. It happened in the bustling chaos of a New York City cooking school kitchen. I was knee-deep in co-dependent relationships, trying to find my worth in other people’s needs, and using alcohol like a balm to soothe the ache I didn’t have language for. I’d been smoking pot since I was a teenager—looking back now, I see that I was self-medicating. The mood swings, the restlessness, the deep pain that had no clear source… I thought I was numbing the discomfort, but I was also muting the parts of me that needed to be heard.
A Pivotal Stroke of Fate
The grand opening of my dream business had just unfolded. It was supposed to be the moment everything came together. Instead, the next day, my father had a massive stroke. It was the kind of jolt that cracks you open.
I remember standing in the hospital room, the antiseptic air pressing against my chest, thinking: I don’t want to die in my fifties.
And that thought began to change me.
But like many stories of awakening, it didn’t stick right away. It took many more sleepless nights, drug-fueled disconnection, the unraveling of a relationship, and the slow crumbling of my business before I let it all go. I moved to a new city, hoping a change in zip code would heal the ache.
But healing doesn’t come from the outside in. It comes from the inside out.
The Myth of the Quick Fix
Somewhere along the line, I stopped drinking. A year later, I let go of the drugs. And still, dysfunction followed me like an old ghost. I held onto marijuana for seven more years—convinced it wasn’t really a problem. But the truth was, I wasn’t fully willing to be present. I hadn’t yet turned and faced the real root.
It wasn’t until I found myself sitting in a 12-step meeting, really listening, that something shifted, and I started learning how counseling support can help you stay present and grounded.
I realized I was an adult. I was responsible for my life. And so, I rolled up my sleeves and worked the steps—not halfway, but thoroughly. I took an inventory. I made the amends. I cleaned house.
There’s a moment in everyone’s recovery journey when you drop the illusion and pick up the truth. For me, grace came like a silent visitor and lifted the invisible weight I’d been dragging from relationship to relationship, job to job, city to city.
It felt like removing a potato sack I didn’t even know I was carrying.
And that’s when I began to rebuild—starting with a relationship to Nature. I walked trails, listened to wind, noticed the sky. The Practical Shaman in me awakened. Over time, I found myself again—not as I had been, but as I was meant to be.
Every Story Matters
You might see yourself in parts of my story. Or maybe your journey has looked wildly different. That’s the point.
Take Marcus, a 30-year-old sound engineer who never thought of himself as someone who needed “help”, until he realized addiction treatment services could meet him where he was. He worked hard, paid rent, and functioned—until the anxiety attacks became daily and he was crushing pills just to sleep. For him, rock bottom was quiet: a missed gig, a canceled check, a phone call from his younger sister who told him she didn’t recognize him anymore.
Or Tina, a mother of two who drank secretly in the afternoons to manage her stress, until she learned how alcohol addiction treatment can rebuild trust and daily stability. No DUI. No public fall from grace. Just the growing shame of knowing she wasn’t fully present. It was her daughter’s third-grade play—barely remembered—that finally pushed her into a support group, where she cried for the first time in years.
Or Javier, who used laughter and charm to mask the chaos within, until he stopped pretending and chose structured treatment programs that support real change. A successful executive, he never stopped moving. When a close friend died by suicide, he collapsed—internally—and checked himself into our program, saying simply, “I don’t want to pretend anymore.”
All of them walked different roads. All of them made it to a point of decision. And all of them are still walking.
What Stage Are You In?
We speak a lot in recovery circles about stages of change:
Pre-contemplation: You don’t think there’s a problem.
Contemplation: You’re starting to wonder.
Preparation: You begin making small changes.
Action: You commit to a plan.
Maintenance: You keep doing the work, even when it’s hard.
Relapse: Not a failure, but a detour that teaches.
Ask Yourself where are you in your recovery process?
Are you standing on the edge, wondering if things really need to change?
Are you knee-deep in the mess, starting to let go of the false fixes?
Are you in maintenance, staying the course and mentoring others?
Whatever the answer is, it counts. If all experience matters (and we believe it does), then even your hardest chapters are part of your healing.
Willingness + Spirit
My recovery has been a mix of sheer will and divine intervention. There were days I white-knuckled it. There were days I sobbed in the shower. But there were also days where wind whispered truth into my ear, and I felt—for the first time—something greater holding me.
The Practical Shaman in me knows that healing isn’t just a clinical checklist. It’s spiritual. Elemental. It moves through breath, through fire, through water, through the grounded roots of earth. It’s in the way we show up for one another. It’s in how we tell the truth.
Today, I’m of service.
I help others through my books, my teachings, and simply by showing up—real, sober, and whole.
But the journey never ends. And I wouldn’t want it to. Because each day in recovery, I learn something new about who I am and who I’m becoming.
Let’s Hear Your Story
We created Hollywood Detox because we believe every story matters, yours included.
Whether you’ve just started asking questions or have been in recovery for decades, you belong here, and our FAQ can help you understand the next steps. There’s no shame in your story. There’s only wisdom waiting to be unearthed.
Let’s start unearthing it together.
If you’re willing, we’d love to hear from you. Contact us to share your recovery story, messy, incomplete, miraculous, or all of the above. Your words might be exactly what someone else needs to take their next step.
Because the road to healing isn’t linear. But it is sacred. And you don’t have to walk it alone.